Marylebone: London’s cutest little station

The capital’s stations are Victorian temples to a form of transport that was once a place of burnished walnut panelling, as opposed to today’s abandoned coffee cups and Ginsters wrappers. St Pancras’ shiny boulevard and slick lines, Waterloo’s ornate Victory Arch and ex-branch line to the London Necropolis, Kings’ Cross’ Eden Project facelift, Liverpool Street’s… OK, Liverpool Street’s sole virtue is that you’re rarely forced to pass through it accidentally.  For true charm however, it’s hard to beat Marylebone; the church hall to those cathedral cousins. Why?

1. It has its very own cheese shop. Most towns can’t boast that. Just perfect for those impulse Époisses purchases on the way to your house-party in fantasyland.

International Cheese shop

An international cheese shop, no less. This is cheese that has travelled. And look – there’s a genuine Frenchman with a beret in there! He’s probably paid a small retainer to hang around and look contemplatively at the fromage.

2. WH Smiths is relegated to a retail unit that looks like a public toilet, which is precisely what it deserves.

WHSmiths, Marylebone station

Even the pigeons wouldn’t be seen dead in Smiths.

3. It only has six platforms. Six! Even Finsbury Park has got more than that, and the only gift it brought to the world is that by pronouncing it backwards you get Crappy Rubsniff.

Marylebone arrivals board

What the poster doesn’t say is that Chiltern Railways are well aware they can get away with charging you extra to leave Birmingham.

4. You can only catch trains from there to the kind of towns that never ever seem to appear on the national news bulletins. Good, solid, boring places. Places where the local newspaper runs with cute animal stories on the front page.

Local newspaper

‘Inside: Parrot admits to being turned away from three Ford dealerships before choosing alternative escape plan.’

5. It looks like a short village street has been dropped into the station building by mistake.

Marylebone shopping

Assuming that your village has a desperate need for overpriced bagels and BK’s sugar coated chips (they really are, true facts).

6. The AMT coffee stand offers to put chocolate powder on your drink regardless of the drink you’ve chosen. And when it comes down to it, what drink isn’t vastly improved by a dusting of chocolate? Except for possibly Bovril?

Choco-latte

Choco-latte? Don’t mind if I do.

For more of this kind of rubbish, you can follow Land of Dope and Tories on Twitter @MrGlazed

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